a thought

Can anyone still really dispute

that what we are looking at

was meant to be so much more?


is there anyone out there who thinks this, this, is the goal?

that we’ve come far enough?

done enough?

that this is as it should be?


and, my god, shouldn’t we have seen it coming?

It’s just like all the fairy tales:

his name was a prophecy,

is a prophecy.

I thought I knew better than to ignore a man’s name.


some people use exclamations well.

fuck, they say.

no!

not good enough!


and I,

don’t have a word for all of this.

but if I did

it would sound like


the creak

and ear-splitting crack

of a branch, a big one,

letting go.


I won’t use his word.

there are so many better ones:

humble, compassionate, wise,

passionate, ready, willing,


alive, invested, sure as hell gonna show up.

so many better things

a country, a people, a life,

could be.


that, I believe.

and I help write the words out on big paper:

at the very end of all of this

will this story be more than just a faded bumper sticker in a used car lot?

more than just another band of merry men who faded into the forest?


I write and write and write, and I try my best to listen.

but in the evening,


all I seem to know how to do is start another notebook,

convinced I’ve been renewed and restored

only to


forget

once again

what it was I was

trying to do.

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